例如： What's the objective of the information? Is it to make people more confused and astray? I partly agree with the author's contention that the enormous and otiose information sometimes render people lose their way and fail to consider question penetratingly and originally.
在作文的开头就扔出两个问题，然后接下来的陈述却与问题基本毫无干系。作为读者，首先要考虑那两个问题的答案到底是什么，然后才能往下读。这些在中文里可能会被评作"引人入胜"的好词好句，在英语的论文写作里面，可以说是最大的败笔之一。如果你一定要问问题的话，那就改成陈述句式，例如：Whether this issue is right or wrong? 可以改成：It has been a controversial issue that……
2、避免集中使用"Be"动词，包括is, are, has been, have been, etc.
例如：What is the purpose of education? Some people may say that the purpose of education should be to create a totally academic environment that separates from the outside world, for, they think, this situation allows students to focus on their academic research work without being disturbed by practical concerns. In fact, this suggestion is harmful to the scientific research work.
这是某一篇文章的开头。我们现在只是分析语法问题。作者除了要注意不要使用疑问句以外，还有很重要的一点：总共两三句话，出现4个"Be"动词。这种写法，在英语里面被称作"non-act"的动词。"Be" 仅仅表示一种状态，例如："i am here", "you are there". 对于母语者来说，"Be"动词其实就是写在纸上，而没有任何感情色彩。所以应该尽量避免成篇累牍地使用。我们的例子可以改为：
Some people argue that the purpose of education lies in its strength in creating a totally academic environment separated from the outside world. They think this situation allows students to focus on academic research by excluding outside disturbance from practical concerns. However, this suggestion in fact does harm to the scientific research work.
我们可以看到，使用了lie in, exclude, do harm to以后，句子更有色彩了。
例如：The author argues that to understand one's own culture, one must know about at least one another culture which is distinctly different from one's own culture. While as I am concerned, I can't agree with the author's assertion.
很容易的我们就可以改正：The author argues that the knowledge of another distinctly different culture helps us to truly understand our own. However, I disagree with this assertion.
例如：Things happened in the past, known as history, is great treasure for us human beings, through and only through studying the past can we gain valuable experience which serves as a means of guiding our development of the society.
History consists of the things happened in the past and it is a great treasure to human beings. Through and only through studying the past thoroughly can we gain valuable experience from history. The historical experience serves as a means of guidance for the new development in the society.
例如：For getting a satisfying score, students have to prepare for and review their texts frequently, remember all the knowledge they have learned deep in mind, enlarge their learning if it is possible and so on, especially when examinations are coming. All these efforts, no matter what their aims are, will surely lead to a corresponding paying back.