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Three Passions I have

2005-09-12 00:00

  Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a waywa rd course over a deep ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.

  I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy—ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of my life for a few hours for this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness—that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it, finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what—at last—I have found.

  With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine…A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.

  Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a hated burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.

  This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.

  吾之三愿

  吾生三愿,纯朴却激越:一曰渴望爱情,二曰求索知识,三曰悲悯吾类之无尽苦难。此三愿,如疾风,迫吾无助飘零于苦水深海之上,直达绝望之彼岸。

  吾求爱,盖因其赐吾狂喜——狂喜之剧足令吾舍此生而享其片刻;吾求爱,亦因其可驱寂寞之感,吾人每生寂寞之情辄兢兢俯视天地之缘,而见绝望之无底深渊;吾求爱还因若得爱,即可窥视圣哲诗人所见之神秘天国。此吾生之所求,虽虑其之至美而恐终不为凡人所得,亦可谓吾之所得也。

  吾求知亦怀斯激情。吾愿闻人之所思,亦愿知星之何以闪光……吾仅得此而已,无他。

  爱与知并力,几携吾入天国之门,然终为悲悯之心拖拽未果。痛苦之吟常萦绕吾心:受饥饿之婴,遭压迫之民,为儿女遗弃之无助老叟,加之天下之孤寂、贫穷、苦痛,具令吾类之生难以卒睹。吾愿穷毕生之力释之,然终不能遂愿,因亦悲极。

  吾生若此而已,然吾颇感未枉此生;若得天允,当乐而重为之。

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