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你老爸会影响到你的工作

2006-05-19 08:47蒋黎黎,CRI

The Father Factor: How It Affects Your Job

Successes or failures of employees in the workplace can be traced to what kind of father they had, a psychologist argues in a new book.

In The Father Factor, Stephan Poulter lists five styles of fathers - super-achieving, time bomb, passive, absent and compassionate/mentor who have powerful influences on the careers of their sons and daughters.

Children of the "time-bomb" father, for example, who explodes in anger at his family, learn how to read people and their moods.

Those intuitive abilities make them good at such jobs as personnel managers or negotiators, he writes.

But those same children may have trouble feeling safe and developing trust, said Poulter, a clinical psychologist who also works with adolescents in Los Angeles area schools.

"I've seen more people hit their heads on what they call a glass ceiling or a cement wall in their careers, and it's what I call the father factor," Poulter said in an interview.

"What role did your father have in your life? It's this unknown variable which has this huge impact because we're all sons and daughters."

Styles of fathering can affect whether their children get along with others at work, have an entreprenurial spirit, worry too much about their career, burn out or become the boss, Poulter writes.

Even absent fathers affect how their children work, he writes, by instilling feelings of rejection and abandonment.

Those children may be overachievers, becoming the person their father never was, or develop such anger toward supervisors or authority figures that they work best when they are self-employed, he writes.

"A lot of people say, 'I never knew my dad,"' he said. But, he added: "You knew the myth, you knew your mother's hatred, you knew your anger, you knew your dad was a loser. Trust me, you knew your dad.

"The father's influence in the workplace is really one of the best-kept secrets," he said.

Poulter co-authored an earlier book on mothers and daughters called Mending the Broken Bough.

The Father Factor is set for release next month by Prometheus Books. Looking at the influence of fathers fits with other recent research on workplace behaviour, said William Pollack, a psychology professor and director of the Centres for Men and Young Men at McLean Hospital, part of Harvard Medical School.

"There's been a good deal of research to show not only that our family-life experience and our experience with our parents affects our personality, but it affects our corporate personality, both as leaders and followers," said Pollack, author of Real Boys.

"There's also good research to show that for men and women, the way they identify with their father and their father's role may well affect how they interact as a manager or leader in the workplace."



美国一位心理学家在新书中论证说,你在职场中是获得成功还是失败与你拥有一位什么样的父亲有关。

据路透社5月13日报道,美国临床心理学家斯蒂芬·波尔特撰写的这本名为《父亲的因素》的新书。他在书中列举了能对子女的职业生涯产生重要影响的5种类型的父亲——功成名就型、定时炸弹型、心态消极型、漫不经心型和富有同情心或导师型。

波尔特在书中写道,定时炸弹型的父亲是指那些常常在家中突然大发脾气、暴跳如雷的父亲们。拥有这种父亲的人通常会在职场中察言观色,知道如何去摸清周围人的脾气和心情。这些人往往能胜任人事经理或谈判代表等职位。但拥有定时炸弹型父亲的人也会在职场中缺少安全感或对他人不信任。

而即便是漫不经心型的父亲也能影响到自己孩子的在职场的发展,因为他们总是对孩子灌输在工作中回避困难和放弃挑战的思想。但这种父亲的孩子由于对父亲的逆反心理往往会在工作中取得意想不到的成功,成为完全不同于他们父亲的一类人。他们通常还会对自己的领导产生不满以至于自己创业当老板。

波尔特指出,不同类型的父亲可以对自己的孩子在工作中产生不同的影响,影响他们是否能与同事相处好,是否具备创业精神,是否为工作担忧过多,是否玩命的工作,以及是否能够成为老板等。

波尔特说:“我已经看见过很多人在职场奋斗中撞上了玻璃天花板(一种看似没有却实际上挡在上方的障碍)或水泥墙,这就是我所谓的父亲的因素。你的父亲在你的生活中扮演了什么角色?这是个不可知的变化因素,但它必定会对我们产生重要影响,因为我们都是为人儿女的人。”

波尔特还指出:“许多人会说‘我从不了解我的父亲’,其实,你了解你母亲对他的怨气,你对他的愤怒,你认为他是一个失败者。所以请相信我,你是了解自己父亲的。”他认为:“父亲对一个人在职场的影响绝对像一个保守得很好的秘密,它还未被大多数人发现。”

同时,哈佛医学院下属的麦可里恩医院男性中心的心理学教授兼主任威廉· 波兰克也表示:“大量的研究结果证实,父母通过家庭生活不仅影响到孩子的个性,也影响了孩子在社会交往中的为人处事能力。而无论是男性还是女性,父亲在他们的生活中所扮演的角色能反映在他们在职场中与领导的关系中。”

波尔特的新书《父亲的因素》即将在6月发行。此前,他还与人合作了一本讲述母女关系的书——《修补坏掉的树枝》。

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