The Navy decides to offer early-retirement bonuses to its personnel. The rule is that a volunteer picks two spots on his body and gets $1,000 for every inch in between.
One officer asks to be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He’s 6 feet tall and gets $72,000.
A second, smarter officer asks to be measured from the tip of his raised hand to his toes. He earns $96,000.
The third man who is volunteering for early retirement is a grizzled old captain.“Measure me from the tip of my penis to my testicles,” he demands.
The medical officer in charge explains that this might not be terribly profitable. But the captain insists. He drops trou, and the medical officer places the tape measure on the tip of the captain’s penis and begins to work back.
“My God!” the medical officer gasps.“Where are your testicles?”
The captain replies, “Vietnam.”