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Female Rules

2006-06-28 17:40

  1. PMS is every woman's perogative. It is always a good enough excuse for anything, and take advantage of it whenever possible.

  2. Don't be afraid to gossip. It is your responsibility to make sure your friends are well-informed about the latest happenings.

  3. You may change your mind whenever you wish.

  4. Never give a direct answer when a man asks you a question.

  5. It is not wrong to withold sex to get what you want.

  6. Always ask a guy "What are you thinking?" after sex.

  7. If he doesn't call, take it as the most personal of insults.

  8. Never believe "I love you" if it comes before sex.

  9. Always wear matching bra and panties for the first few dates, then you can s witch to the comfortable old palin white cotton once you have impressed him wit h the stylishness of your underwear.

  10. ALWAYS say that he is the best you've ever had.

  11. Fake orgasms when necessary.

  12. Find a "cute giggle". Practice it constantly.

  13. Learn to toss your hair around, even if it's short.

  14. Never admit that your're not a real blonde.

  15. Shopping always makes you feel better.

  16. When with a group of girls, it is customary to talk particularly about the girl who is not present.

  17. Always try to set up your single female friends with your single male friends.

  18. Never forget that men are pigs.

  19. Jeans: the tighter the better.

  20. the fact that you menstruate makes it okay to bitch as much as you want about anything you want.

  21. Criticize every other woman behind her back.

  22. Never reveal the full extent of your intelligence to a man.

  23. Pretend that you can't do certain "guy" things like change a flat tire. It's even okay to calim that you can't pump gasoline or check the oil. He.lples s females make a guy feel macho.

  24. If a guy really cares about you, he should be able to read your mind. You needn't have to e.xplain yourself, ever. And he should know what's expected of him without you saying anything.

  25. Be a tease.

  26. Men always want to know how they compare to the last guy you were with. Always say "Your're not as well hung as my last boyfriend."

  27. Never dutch treat.

  28. If he doesn't spend money on you, don't waste your time.

  29. Guys like to see you flirt with their friends.

  30. Devleop a "cute butt" scale and use it to rate every guy's butt that you see.

  31. Never go to the ladies room alone, if you can help it.

  32. Carry feminine hygiene products with you wherever you go, and don't be shy about showing them to pe.ople.

  33. Always announce to everyone when you are on the rag.

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