Chapter 35 — Ruth is not like Lorna
Although by our mother‘s reluctant consent a large part of the obstacles between Annie and her lover appeared to be removed， on the other hand Lorna and myself gained little， except as regarded comfort of mind， and some ease to the conscience. Moreover， our chance of frequent meetings and delightful converse was much impaired， at least for the present； because though mother was not aware of my narrow escape from Carver Doone， she made me promise never to risk my life by needless visits. And upon this point， that is to say， the necessity of the visit， she was well content， as she said， to leave me to my own good sense and honour； only begging me always to tell her of my intention beforehand. This pledge， however， for her own sake， I declined to give； knowing how wretched she would be during all the time of my absence； and， on that account， I promised instead， that I would always give her a full account of my adventure upon returning.
Now my mother， as might be expected， began at once to cast about for some means of relieving me from all further peril， and herself from great anxiety. She was full of plans for fetching Lorna， in some wonderful manner， out of the power of the Doones entirely， and into her own hands， where she was to remain for at least a twelve-month， learning all mother and Annie could teach her of dairy business， and farm-house life， and the best mode of packing butter. And all this arose from my happening to say， without meaning anything， how the poor dear had longed for quiet， and a life of simplicity， and a rest away from violence！ Bless thee， mother—now long in heaven， there is no need to bless thee； but it often makes a dimness now in my well-worn eyes， when I think of thy loving-kindness， warmth， and romantic innocence.
As to stealing my beloved from that vile Glen Doone， the deed itself was not impossible， nor beyond my daring； but in the first place would she come， leaving her old grandfather to die without her tendence？ And even if， through fear of Carver and that wicked Counsellor， she should consent to fly， would it be possible to keep her without a regiment of soldiers？ Would not the Doones at once ride forth to scour the country for their queen， and finding her （as they must do）， burn our house， and murder us， and carry her back triumphantly？
All this I laid before my mother， and to such effect that she acknowledged， with a sigh that nothing else remained for me （in the present state of matters） except to keep a careful watch upon Lorna from safe distance， observe the policy of the Doones， and wait for a tide in their affairs. Meanwhile I might even fall in love （as mother unwisely hinted） with a certain more peaceful heiress， although of inferior blood， who would be daily at my elbow. I am not sure but what dear mother herself would have been disappointed， had I proved myself so fickle； and my disdain and indignation at the mere suggestion did not so much displease her； for she only smiled and answered，—
‘Well， it is not for me to say； God knows what is good for us. Likings will not come to order； otherwise I should not be where I am this day. And of one thing I am rather glad； Uncle Reuben well deserves that his pet scheme should miscarry. He who called my boy a coward， an ignoble coward， because he would not join some crack-brained plan against the valley which sheltered his beloved one！ And all the time this dreadful “coward” risking his life daily there， without a word to any one！ How glad I am that you will not have， for all her miserable money， that little dwarfish granddaughter of the insolent old miser！’
She turned， and by her side was standing poor Ruth Huckaback herself， white， and sad， and looking steadily at my mother‘s face， which became as red as a plum while her breath deserted her.
‘If you please， madam，’ said the little maiden， with her large calm eyes unwavering， ‘it is not my fault， but God Almighty’s， that I am a little dwarfish creature. I knew not that you regarded me with so much contempt on that account； neither have you told my grandfather， at least within my hearing， that he was an insolent old miser. When I return to Dulverton， which I trust to do to-morrow （for it is too late to-day）， I shall be careful not to tell him your opinion of him， lest I should thwart any schemes you may have upon his property. I thank you all for your kindness to me， which has been very great， far more than a little dwarfish creature could， for her own sake， expect. I will only add for your further guidance one more little truth. It is by no means certain that my grandfather will settle any of his miserable money upon me. If I offend him， as I would in a moment， for the sake of a brave and straightforward man‘—here she gave me a glance which I scarcely knew what to do with—’my grandfather， upright as he is， would leave me without a shilling. And I often wish it were so. So many miseries come upon me from the miserable money—‘ Here she broke down， and burst out crying， and ran away with a faint good-bye； while we three looked at one another， and felt that we had the worst of it.
‘Impudent little dwarf！’ said my mother， recovering her breath after ever so long. ‘Oh， John， how thankful you ought to be！ What a life she would have led you！’
‘Well， I am sure！’ said Annie， throwing her arms around poor mother： ‘who could have thought that little atomy had such an outrageous spirit！ For my part I cannot think how she can have been sly enough to hide it in that crafty manner， that John might think her an angel！’
‘Well， for my part，’ I answered， laughing， ‘I never admired Ruth Huckaback half， or a quarter so much before. She is rare stuff. I would have been glad to have married her to-morrow， if I had never seen my Lorna.’
‘And a nice nobody I should have been， in my own house！’ cried mother： ‘I never can be thankful enough to darling Lorna for saving me. Did you see how her eyes flashed？’
‘That I did； and very fine they were. Now nine maidens out of ten would have feigned not to have heard one word that was said， and have borne black malice in their hearts. Come， Annie， now， would not you have done so？’
‘I think，’ said Annie， ‘although of course I cannot tell， you know， John， that I should have been ashamed at hearing what was never meant for me， and should have been almost as angry with myself as anybody.’
‘So you would，’ replied my mother； ‘so any daughter of mine would have done， instead of railing and reviling. However， I am very sorry that any words of mine which the poor little thing chose to overhear should have made her so forget herself. I shall beg her pardon before she goes， and I shall expect her to beg mine.’
‘That she will never do，’ said I； ‘a more resolute little maiden never yet had right upon her side； although it was a mere accident. I might have said the same thing myself， and she was hard upon you， mother dear.’
After this， we said no more， at least about that matter； and little Ruth， the next morning， left us， in spite of all that we could do. She vowed an everlasting friendship to my younger sister Eliza； but she looked at Annie with some resentment， when they said good-bye， for being so much taller. At any rate so Annie fancied， but she may have been quite wrong. I rode beside the little maid till far beyond Exeford， when all danger of the moor was past， and then I left her with John Fry， not wishing to be too particular， after all the talk about her money. She had tears in her eyes when she bade me farewell， and she sent a kind message home to mother， and promised to come again at Christmas， if she could win permission.
Upon the whole， my opinion was that she had behaved uncommonly well for a maid whose self-love was outraged， with spirit， I mean， and proper pride； and yet with a great endeavour to forgive， which is， meseems， the hardest of all things to a woman， outside of her own family.
After this， for another month， nothing worthy of notice happened， except of course that I found it needful， according to the strictest good sense and honour， to visit Lorna immediately after my discourse with mother， and to tell her all about it. My beauty gave me one sweet kiss with all her heart （as she always did， when she kissed at all）， and I begged for one more to take to our mother， and before leaving， I obtained it. It is not for me to tell all she said， even supposing （what is not likely） that any one cared to know it， being more and more peculiar to ourselves and no one else. But one thing that she said was this， and I took good care to carry it， word for word， to my mother and Annie：—
‘I never can believe， dear John， that after all the crime and outrage wrought by my reckless family， it ever can be meant for me to settle down to peace and comfort in a simple household. With all my heart I long for home； any home， however dull and wearisome to those used to it， would seem a paradise to me， if only free from brawl and tumult， and such as I could call my own. But even if God would allow me this， in lieu of my wild inheritance， it is quite certain that the Doones never can and never will.’
Again， when I told her how my mother and Annie， as well as myself， longed to have her at Plover‘s Barrows， and teach her all the quiet duties in which she was sure to take such delight， she only answered with a bright blush， that while her grandfather was living she would never leave him； and that even if she were free， certain ruin was all she should bring to any house that received her， at least within the utmost reach of her amiable family. This was too plain to be denied， and seeing my dejection at it， she told me bravely that we must hope for better times， if possible， and asked how long I would wait for her.
‘Not a day if I had my will，’ I answered very warmly； at which she turned away confused， and would not look at me for awhile； ‘but all my life，’ I went on to say， ‘if my fortune is so ill. And how long would you wait for me， Lorna？’
‘Till I could get you，’ she answered slyly， with a smile which was brighter to me than the brightest wit could be. ‘And now，’ she continued， ‘you bound me， John， with a very beautiful ring to you， and when I dare not wear it， I carry it always on my heart. But I will bind you to me， you dearest， with the very poorest and plainest thing that ever you set eyes on. I could give you fifty fairer ones， but they would not be honest； and I love you for your honesty， and nothing else of course， John； so don’t you be conceited. Look at it， what a queer old thing！ There are some ancient marks upon it， very grotesque and wonderful； it looks like a cat in a tree almost， but never mind what it looks like. This old ring must have been a giant‘s； therefore it will fit you perhaps， you enormous John. It has been on the front of my old glass necklace （which my grandfather found them taking away， and very soon made them give back again） ever since I can remember； and long before that， as some woman told me. Now you seem very greatly amazed； pray what thinks my lord of it？’
‘That is worth fifty of the pearl thing which I gave you， you darling； and that I will not take it from you.’
‘Then you will never take me， that is all. I will have nothing to do with a gentleman’—
‘No gentleman， dear—a yeoman.’
‘Very well， a yeoman—nothing to do with a yeoman who will not accept my love-gage. So， if you please， give it back again， and take your lovely ring back.’
She looked at me in such a manner， half in earnest， half in jest， and three times three in love， that in spite of all good resolutions， and her own faint protest， I was forced to abandon all firm ideas， and kiss her till she was quite ashamed， and her head hung on my bosom， with the night of her hair shed over me. Then I placed the pearl ring back on the soft elastic bend of the finger she held up to scold me； and on my own smallest finger drew the heavy hoop she had given me. I considered this with satisfaction， until my darling recovered herself； and then I began very gravely about it， to keep her （if I could） from chiding me：—
‘Mistress Lorna， this is not the ring of any giant. It is nothing more nor less than a very ancient thumb-ring， such as once in my father’s time was ploughed up out of the ground in our farm， and sent to learned doctors， who told us all about it， but kept the ring for their trouble. I will accept it， my own one love； and it shall go to my grave with me.‘ And so it shall， unless there be villains who would dare to rob the dead.
Now I have spoken about this ring （though I scarcely meant to do so， and would rather keep to myself things so very holy） because it holds an important part in the history of my Lorna. I asked her where the glass necklace was from which the ring was fastened， and which she had worn in her childhood， and she answered that she hardly knew， but remembered that her grandfather had begged her to give it up to him， when she was ten years old or so， and had promised to keep it for her until she could take care of it； at the same time giving her back the ring， and fastening it from her pretty neck， and telling her to be proud of it. And so she always had been， and now from her sweet breast she took it， and it became John Ridd‘s delight.
All this， or at least great part of it， I told my mother truly， according to my promise； and she was greatly pleased with Lorna for having been so good to me， and for speaking so very sensibly； and then she looked at the great gold ring， but could by no means interpret it. Only she was quite certain， as indeed I myself was， that it must have belonged to an ancient race of great consideration， and high rank， in their time. Upon which I was for taking it off， lest it should be degraded by a common farmer‘s finger. But mother said ’No，‘ with tears in her eyes； ’if the common farmer had won the great lady of the ancient race， what were rings and old-world trinkets， when compared to the living jewel？‘ Being quite of her opinion in this， and loving the ring （which had no gem in it） as the token of my priceless gem， I resolved to wear it at any cost， except when I should be ploughing， or doing things likely to break it； although I must own that it felt very queer （for I never had throttled a finger before）， and it looked very queer， for a length of time， upon my great hard-working hand.
And before I got used to my ring， or people could think that it belonged to me （plain and ungarnished though it was）， and before I went to see Lorna again， having failed to find any necessity， and remembering my duty to mother， we all had something else to think of， not so pleasant， and more puzzling.