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Business one-liners 08

2006-07-08 09:01

  The only sense that is common in the long run is the sense of change. We instinctively avoid it.

  The only time to be positive is when you are positive you are wrong.

  The organization of any program reflects the organization of the people who developed it.

  The other line always moves faster.

  The paperless office will become a reality about the same time as the paperless toilet.

  The person not here is the one working on the problem.

  The phone will not ring until you leave your desk and walk to the other end of the building.

  The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability.

  The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

  The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

  The ratio of time involved in work to time available for work is usually about 0.6.

  The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before.

  The road to hell is paved with good intentions and littered with sloppy analysis.

  The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

  The simplest subjects are the ones you don't know anything about.

  The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.

  The solving of a problem lies in finding the solvers.

  The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up!

  The squeaky wheel doesn't always get the grease; sometimes it gets replaced.

  The stomach expands to accommodate the amount of junk food available.

  The success of any venture will be helped by prayer, even in the wrong denomination.

  The sun goes down just when you need it the most.

  The tasks and chores that get rewarded, get done first.

  The telephone will ring when you are outside the door, fumbling for your keys.

  The tough part of a Data Processing Manager's job is that users don't really know what they want, but they know for what they don't want.

  The trouble with doing right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was!

  The two greatest causes of system failures are sysadmins and users. If you can keep both of these groups away from your machines, the reliability increases dramatically.

  The usefulness of any meeting is in inverse proportion to the attendance.

  The trick is to stop thinking it is 'your' money. - IRS auditor

  The trouble with life is that it's a do-it-yourself kit without instructions.

  There is never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.

  The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.

  The workbench is always untidier than last time.

  The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you.

  The yoo-hoo you you-hew into the forest is the yoo-hoo you get back.

  There are no rules around here. We're trying to accomplish something. - Thomas Edison, remarking about his laboratory

  There are no winners in life……only survivors.

  There are only two forces that unite men, fear and self-interest……Napoleon

  There are three ways to get things done: do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your kids to do it.

  There are two kinds of people who don't say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

  There are two rules for success in life: Rule 1 - Don't tell people everything you know.

  There is nothing so small that it can't be blown out of proportion.

  There are two things on earth that are universal: hydrogen and stupidity.

  There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking.

  There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about.

  There has been opposition to every innovation in the history of man, with the possible exception of the sword.

  There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for.

  There is a right way, a wrong way, and my way to do everything.

  There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

  There is always one more bug.

  There is always one more idiot than you counted on.

  There is no evidence to support the notion that life is serious.

  There is nothing so habit-forming as money.

  There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrnog.

  There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrrong.

  There is no limit to how bad things can get.

  There is no limit to the amount of good that people can accomplish, if they don't care who gets the credit.

  There is no problem a good miracle can't solve.

  There is no problem so large that it cannot be solved by the application of a correctly chosen thermonuclear device.

  There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.

  There is no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

  There is no such thing as a “dirty capitalist”, only a capitalist.

  There is no such thing as instant experience.

  There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.

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