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Question and answer Lawyer jokes 1

2006-07-08 11:20

  Q: When attorneys die, why do they bury them 600 feet underground?

  A: Because deep down, they're really nice guys.

  Q: If you drop a snake and an attorney off the Empire State Building, which one hits first?

  A: Who cares?

  Q: How can you tell the difference between a dead skunk and a dead attorney on the road?

  A: The vultures aren't gagging over the skunk.

  Q: What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?

  A: Jewelry.

  Q: What do lawyers use for birth control?

  A: Their personalities.

  Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?

  A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.

  Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

  A: One; the lawyer holds it while the rest of the world revolves around him.

  Q: How can you tell a lawyer is lying?

  A: Other lawyers look interested.

  Q: Why should lawyers wear lots of sunscreen when vacationing at a beach resort?

  A: Because they used to doing all of their lying indoors.

  Q: What happened to the banker who went to law school?

  A: Now she a loan shark.

  Q: Where do vampires learn to suck blood?

  A: Law school.

  Q: How do you define double jeopardy?

  A: When a lawyer calls in her partner.

  Q: What do you get when you cross a librarian with a lawyer?

  A: All the information you need, but you can understand a word of it.

  Q: What's worse than pleading guilty to murder?

  A: Getting jail time and getting robbed——hiring an attorney to defend you.

  Q: What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common?

  A: You always hear about them, but you never see them.

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