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Business one-liners 18

2006-07-08 09:16

  Wisdom consists of knowing when to avoid perfection.

  Wisdom is what's left after we've run out of personal opinions.

  Without data, yours is just another opinion.

  Work hard and save your money and when you are old you will be able to buy the things only the young can enjoy.

  Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.

  Work is the curse of the drinking class.

  Work may be the crabgrass of life, but money is still the water that keeps it green.

  You can always find what you're not looking for.

  You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can make a fool of yourself any time.

  You can fool all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, and that should be sufficient for most purposes.

  You won't skid if you stay in a rut.

  You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

  You can observe a lot just by watching.

  You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickles in the machine.

  You can't fall off the floor.

  You can't get here from there.

  You can't guard against the arbitrary.

  You can't outtalk a man who knows what he's talking about.

  You can't push a rope.

  You can't tell how deep a puddle is until you step into it.

  You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

  You will remember that you forgot to take out the trash when the garbage truck is two doors away.

  You can't win. You can't break even. You can't quit the game.

  You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.

  You get the most of what you need the least.

  You have the capacity to learn from mistakes. You'll learn a lot today.

  You may easily play a joke on a man who likes to argue; agree with him.

  You never find an article until you replace it.

  You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

  You never want the one you can afford.

  You remember to mail a letter only when you're nowhere near a mailbox.

  You want it when?

  You will always find something in the last place you look.

  Clovis' Consideration of an Atmospheric Anomaly: The perversity of nature is nowhere better demonstrated than by the fact that, when exposed to the same atmosphere, bread becomes hard while crackers become soft.

  Cohn's Law: The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved when you spend all your time reporting on the nothing you are doing.

  Colvard's Logical Premises: All probabilities are 50%. Either a thing will happen or it won't.

  Colvard's Unconscionable Commentary: This is especially true when dealing with someone you're attracted to.

  Conway's Law: In any organization, there will always be one person who knows what's going on; this person must be fired. Corollaries: 1. Nobody whom you ask for help will see it. 2. The first person who stops by, whose advice you really don't want to hear, will see it immediately.

  Cooke's Law: In any decision situation, the amount of relevant information available is inversely proportional to the importance of the decision.

  Correspondence Corollary: An experiment may be considered a success if no more than half of your data must be discarded to obtain correspondence with your theory.

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