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The bachelor's diet

2006-07-08 10:38

  Bachelor's Diet

  MONDAY:

  BREAKFAST - Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth

  LUNCH - Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.

  AFTERNOON SNACK - Drink the maalox

  DINNER - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don't eat the coleslaw.

  TUESDAY:

  BREAKFAST - Eat the coleslaw

  LUNCH - Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.

  DINNER - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's.

  WEDNESDAY:

  BREAKFAST - Jaws couldn't eat breakfast after a night at El Flasho's

  LUNCH - Rolaids and a coke

  DINNER - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps

  THURSDAY:

  BREAKFAST - Order out for pizza

  LUNCH - Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.

  DINNER - Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.

  FRIDAY:

  BREAKFAST - Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it's better for you.

  LUNCH - Skip lunch, Fridays are murder

  DINNER - Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don't eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.

  SATURDAY:

  BREAKFAST - Sleep through it.

  LUNCH - Ditto

  DINNER - Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.

  SUNDAY:

  BREAKFAST - Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.

  LUNCH - Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch.

  DINNER - Chicken noodle soup - Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.

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