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Meeting in 2000

2006-07-29 14:53

  The sun is shining when I wake up. I am very excited because I'll soon see my high-school classmates. When we graduated years ago, we had decided [decided]  (1) to meet in [the year] (2) 2000. Now the new century has come. I am eager to see everybody and know everything about them.

  At the appointed time, I get to the appointed place. I thought I was the first but many of my friends have already been[have already arrived] (3) there. They are talking freely. After all we haven't seen each other for years. We have a lot to talk about.

  John is no longer a naughty boy, but a steady young man. He was good at physics at school and now he continues studying on [studying] (4) physics, for he wants to become a physicist. “Are you married? Are you a husband or someone like a housewife?” Mary asks smiling [with a smile] (5)。 John's face turns red. As we all know, he was good at sewing, cooking and cleaning. He could do housework just like a housewife. What a strange “man”!

  “Look! Owen is coming.” I turn to look at Owen. He is taller and stronger while the most obvious change is that his glasses have become thicker. You see, how diligent he is!

  “Let's dance!” Someone shouts. “Hurray!” “Lorra, would you mind dancing with me?” Gary asks with a smile. We are rather surprised that Gary should invite Lorra. Believe it or not, Gary had never danced [never danced] (6) when we were in high school. Many years have passed; no wonder he has changed so much.

  Bill, a talkative person, has become a lawyer; Anne, a woman officer; Maria, a writer and I, an interpreter as I always wanted to be. I'll soon be invited to work for the Olympic Games which will be held in our country in a week. How happy we all are! During the past years, most of us have turned our wishes into reality …

  “Gelia, wake up. It's time for school,” Mother's cry woke me up. I was very excited, and disappointed at waking at the same time, because I had just had such an exciting dream. I expected that the dream would be turned into reality in 2000. That would be nice!

  长春外国语学校高一  何春燕

  评    语

  文章作于20世纪90年代,题材非常生动有趣,富有想像力。记述详略有致,对话文笔生动,用词简洁明了。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下:

  (1)、(6)这里无时间上的先后对比,不必用过去完成时。

  (2)强调“2000年”,加上the year较好,题目为求简洁可不用。

  (3)“have been +某地”可表示“已去过某地(现已离开)”,为避免误解,故改之。

  (4)study可作及物动词,不必加介词on.

  (5)“笑着说”应为 with a smile.

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