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Business one-liners 03

2006-07-08 08:47

  Any wire cut to length will be too short.

  Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.

  Anyone can admit they were wrong; the true test is admitting it to someone else.

  Anyone who is popular is bound to be disliked.

  Anyone who makes an absolute statement is a fool.

  Anything created must necessarily be inferior to the essence of the creator. - Claude Shouse

  Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

  Anything hit with a big enough hammer will fall apart.

  Anything in parentheses can be ignored.

  Anything is easier to take apart than to put together.

  Anything is possible, but nothing is easy.

  Anything labeled “New” and/or “Improved” isn't. The label means the price went up. The label “All New”, “Completely New”, or “Great New” means the price went way up.

  Anything that doesn't eat you today is saving you for tomorrow.

  Anything that is designed to do more than one thing cannot do any of them well.

  Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought.

  Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.

  Appearances are not everything; it just looks like they are.

  Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

  As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?

  As soon as the stewardess serves the coffee, the airline encounters turbulence.

  As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.

  As they say in Beirut, Shiite happens.

  Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes.

  Assumption is the mother of all foul-ups.

  At any level of traffic, any delay is intolerable.

  Automatic simply means that you can't repair it yourself.

  Bad news drives good news out of the media.

  Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upward from the floor.

  Batman is the hero any of us could be, given determination, exercise, and deep psychological trauma. - Chris Jarocha-Ernst

  Be content with what you've got, but be sure you've got plenty.

  Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes clear to the bone.

  Before you give a colleague a piece of your mind, be sure you can spare it.

  Being a good communicator means people find out what is really wrong with you.

  Believing is seeing.

  Better latent than never.

  Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.

  Beware of a tall dark man with a spoon up his nose.

  Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.

  Beware of one who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds themself no wiser than before. They are full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way. - Sir John A. MacDonald, Canada's first prime minister

  Beware of those wearing suspenders with belts.

  Beware the fury of a patient man. - John Dryden

  Beware the man of one book. - St. Thomas Aquinas

  Beware the wrath of a patient person.

  Blessed are those who go around in circles, for they shall be known as wheels.

  Blessed is he who expects no gratitude, for he shall not be disappointed.

  Blessed is he who has reached the point of no return and knows it for he shall enjoy living.

  Boldly going forward because we cannot find reverse.

  Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

  Build something foolproof and every fool will use it.

  Bureaucracy: a method for transforming energy into solid waste.

  By the time you can make ends meet, they've moved the ends.

  By the time you have the right answers, no one is asking you questions.

  By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to work twelve hours a day. - Robert Frost

  Cant produces countercant.

  Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win.

  Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

  Chipped dishes never break.

  Clearly stated instructions will consistently produce multiple interpretations.

  Cocaine is nature's way of telling you you have too much money.

  Commit suicide. A hundred thousand lemmings cannot be wrong.

  Common sense is not so common.

  Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough. - Descartes, 1637

  Communication with the dead is only a little more difficult than communication with (Insert Your Favorite Group - Engineering/Financial……)

  Competition brings out the best in products and the worst in people.

  Complex problems have simple, easy to understand, wrong answers.

  Confession is good for the soul, but bad for the career.

  Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.

  Confusion creates jobs.

  Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.

  Conscious is being aware of something; conscience is wishing you weren't.

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