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西方礼仪(Western Manners)

2006-07-14 00:57赵宝斌

  It is a great help for the person who is learning a foreign language to know some customs and manners for the people who speaks it, because the language is very closely associated with them. I will tell you some common western manners.

  1. Meeting and Greeting People

  1) Greeting

  The simplest thing to say is "Good morning," "Good afternoon" or "good evening." This greeting is given to one whom you know only slightly, or to any one you are passing quickly. "How are you" is usually used when you are not in such a hurry. No answer is expected other than " Fine, thank you." "hello' is the commonest form of greeting between good friends.

  2) When a Man Raises His Hat

  If you are wearing a hat which can be taken bold of easily, it is customary to raise it slightly off your head when you greet a girl or a woman.

  3) When to Shake Hands

  It is customary to shake hands when you first meet someone. And usually friends shake hands when they meet after not having seen each other for some time. However it is not necessary to shake hands.

  4) Use the person's Name

  It is always good form to use the name of the person you are greeting. You might say, "Good Morning, Mr. Moncrieff" or " Hello, Franklin.," A person's surname should be used unless he is good friend or school-mate.

  2. Introduction

  1) How to Introduce People

  In introducing two people, the general rule is: Introduce other people to the person you wish to honor. The old are honored in the West as in China. Women have been honoured in the West since the days of knighthood(骑士时代)。

  2) Rising at Introduction

  A man always rise for an introduction, except that it is sometimes all right for an elderly man to remain seated when a young man is introduced to him. The hostess always rises for an introduction.

  3) Introducing Yourself

  If you want to meet someone, it is better to ask a friend who know him to introduce you. But sometimes at a meeting or gathering it is all right to introduce yourself to a fellow-student, or to one of the same sex and position.

  3. Invitation

  1) You Must Reply to an Invitation

  Foreign custom is much more strict than Chinese custom in the matter of replying to invitations. When you receive an invitation you should answer it immediately, saying definitely whether you are able to accept it or not.

  2) Written or Verbal Reply

  If the invitation is given by word of mouth, in conversation or at a chance meeting, you should answer at once whether you can come or not. If you cannot give an answer at that time, you may say, "May I let you know this evening?" Or some such words.

  4. In the Home

  1) The Right Time to Arrive

  When invited to luncheon, dinner, or supper, it is very impolite to arrive late, as it is usually planned to have the meal at the exact hour given in the invitation.

  2) In arrival

  When you arrive, the hostess or some member of the family will probably meet you at the door and take your coat and hat. In the winter time you should dress more lightly than usually, as you may expect the rooms to be warmer than in most Chinese homes.

  3) In a few minutes the hostess will ask her guests to come in to dinner. She may or may not ask each gentleman to take a lady in. If she does, the lady will take the gentleman's arm as they walk into the dinning room. If she does not, the ladies will go in first, followed by the gentlemen. The hostess will either point out their seats to the guests as they come in or have  a place card at each place with the guests name on it.

  4) How Long to Stay

  After the meal is over it is not polite to leave for at least half an hour, lest you seem to have come only for the meal. An evening dinner invitation usually implies that you stay for the whole evening. The hostess often plans some after-dinner entertainment.

  5) What to Say on Leaving

  When leaving any kind of a party, a guest always expresses his appreciation to the hostess. Some such words as these are appropriate. "Thank you so much. I've had a delight evening."

  5. Table Manners

  1) As soon as the hostess picks up her napkin(餐巾), pick yours up and lay it on your lap. Sometimes a roll of bread is wrapped in it; if so, toke it our and put it on your side plate.

  2) The Soup Course

  Dinner usually begins with soup. The largest spoon at your place is the soup spoon. It will be beside your plate at the right-hand side.

  3) The Fish Course

  If there is a fish course, it will probably follow the soup. There may be a special fork for the fish, or it may be similar to the meat fork. Often it is smaller.

  4) The Meat Course

  The main Course is usually served by the host himself, especially if it is a fowl(鸡禽) or a roast which need to be carved. He will often ask each guest what piece he prefers, and it is quite proper to state your preference as to lean or fat, dark(红肉) or light(白肉)。

  5) Using Knife and Fork

  If you have English and American friends you will notice a few differences in their customs of eating. For the main or meat curse, the English keep the fork in the left hand, point curved downward, and bring the food to the mouth either by sticking the points onto it or in the case of soft vegetables, by placing it firmly on the fork in this position with the knife. Americans carve the meat in the same position, then lay down the knife and taking the fork in the right hand with the point turned up, push it under a small piece of food without the help of the knife and bring it to the moth right-side-up.

  6) Helping Yourself and Refusing

  If a servant passes food around, he will pass the dish in at your left hand so that you can conveniently serve yourself with your right hand. Never serve yourself while the dish is on your right; it is then the turn of your neighbor on the right. It is polite to take some of everything that is passed to you. But if there is something you may not like, you may quietly say: "No thank you."

  7) Second Helpings

  The hostess may or may not ask if you would like a second helping, according to the formality of the meal. If she does and you accept it, you should pass your plate to her or to the servant with   the knife and fork still lying on it.

  8) The Salad Course

  A salad is eaten with a fork only held in the right hand with points turned up. There is usually a special one for the salad, a little smaller than the meat fork.

  9) Bread and Butter

  Bread is taken in the fingers and laid on the side plate or the edge of the large plate, it is never take with a fork. Butter is taken from the butter dish with the butter knife and placed on the side plate, not on one's bread.

  10) Other Things on the Table

  When there are things on the middle of the table, such as bread, butter, jelly, pickles, nits, candies, you should not take any until the hostess ahs suggested that they be passed.

  11) Leaving the Table

  It is impolite for a guest to leave the table during a meal, or before the hostess gives the signal at the end. When the hostess indicates that the dinner is over, she will start to rise from her seat and all the guests will rise from theirs at the same time.

  12) Various rules and Suggestions

  Sit up straight on your chair; Do not put much food in your mouth at a time; Drink only when there is no food in your mouth; Try not to get into your mouth anything that will have to be taken out; Do not make any nose when you eat; Do not clean your teeth at the table or anywhere in public, either with your finger or a tooth pick(牙签), not even with you tongue.

  6. In School

  1)Greeting the Teacher

  If you are in a very large class, it may not be necessary to greet the teacher on arriving, but it is always quite proper if you happen to catch the teacher's eye as you enter.

  2) Coming Late

  It is bad manners to come late to class. If you are unavoidably late an apology should be made to the teacher either at the time or after class.

  3) Talking in Class

  It if bad manners in the schoolroom, as elsewhere, to talk while anyone else is taking.

  7. In Public Places

  1) Traffic Laws

  The coming of the motor car made definite traffic law and regulations a practical necessity. To obey these law is not so much a matter of curtsey(礼貌) as a moral obligation(义务)。

  2) For People Walking

  People walking should keep to the sidewalks and should keep to the right of the sidewalk.

  3) The Theater

  The theater proper is more formal than the movies. At the theater best clothes are in order; evening clothes are often worn.

  4) The Movies

  The movies are more informal. Any kind of respectable clothes may be worn, and small confection(糖果) may be eaten quietly as long as there are no objectionable noses to annoy one's neighbors.

  5) In Church

  It is usual for anyone attending church to take some money along for the offering, as it is a regular part of every church service and is used for the work of the church. Good clothes, but never evening clothes, are worn to a church service.

  8. Special Occasions

  1) Birthday

  Birthday in the West, as in China, are considered occasions for congratulations and sometimes for gifts from near friends.

  2)The Wedding

  If one receives an announcement of a wedding after it is over, a note of congratulation may be sent, but a gift is not necessary.

  3) The Funeral

  Funerals, of course, are always sand, but the tendency in Western countries is against making any show of one's feelings at the funeral. The idea behind this is that the person dead would wish this last meeting of his friends in his honor and remembrance to be full of tender, happy recollections of his life.

  9. With Strangers and Friends

  1) Lending and borrowing are more matters of principle in the West than in the East. Things borrowed in the West are definitely expected to be returned, whether it is fifty dollars or merely a friend's pencil.

  2) Don't Be Curious

  It is impolite to be curious about the private affairs of others, such as age, salary, religion and marriage.

  3) Thanks for Gifts

  When some one gives you a present, it is very impolite to neglect thank him for it.

  4) One Hand Only

  In china we use two hands when giving something to a person, or when receiving it, if we want to be very polite. In the West this would seem awkward and impolite.

  10. Personal Habits and Appearance

  1) People judge you at first by what they see, so particular attention should be paid to your personal appearance.

  2) Using a Handkerchief

  Always carry a clean handkerchief. Do not use it while it is folded, and do not fold it after you use it.

  3)Spitting

  In the West it is considered very impolite to spit, even upon the street.

  4) Smoking

  Smoking is very prevalent(普遍), both by men and by women. If you are a guest in a home where no others are smoking, it is better to refrain(忍住) from smoking, you may say, "Would you mind if I smoked?".

  11. Some Points for Men

  1) With a Lady

  Always allow the lady to precede you in places where one has to go before the other except in the following case: when getting off a street car, train, bus, or out of an automobile; when going up stair; when opening a heavy door. When you are walking along the street with a lady, always walk on the outside.

  2) At a Dance

  If you wish to dance with a certain lady, go to her, bow, and say:" May I have the pleasure of a dance?"

  Selected from Western Manners by Earl and Katharine Willmontt and translated by Wan Rongfang

西方礼仪

  为什么打招呼?

  在欧美国家见面打招呼是很自然的,即使是不认识。打招呼的目的,并不是为了要跟你有进一步的交往,只是一种生活礼仪形式。其实不论任何人,面对有人微笑打招呼,都会受到感染,像是见到阳光心情跟着好起来一样,很自然会打招呼响应。因此,在西方国家旅游的时候,如果迎面而来的人对我们说哈啰,别露出一副莫名其妙的表情,甚至置之不理唷!那可是非常失礼的。

  怎样打招呼?

  对方跟你说「How do you do ?」就是「你好」的意思,不用按着课本教的说「Fine, Thank you. And you?」,除非这是你的好朋友,或是你有比较多的时间跟他聊天,不然只要同样回答说「How do you do ?」就够了。如果怕自己英文不好听,至少微笑点个头。有时候他们会说「Hello !」,其实相当于我们的「嗨」,这是同辈或好友之间的应对方式,不适合用在对长辈或地位比较高的人。另外,他们也会问候「Good morning」,「Good afternoon」或「Good evening」,同样问候就可以了。

  怎样吃饭?

  中国人吃饭比较随兴,很可能聊到开心处,就大声说笑,或是把餐厅当作自己家一样让小孩子跑来跑去,这在西方国家是相当不得体的喔!尤其如果我们是吃西式餐厅,而不是在中国餐厅,一定要注意餐桌礼节。餐巾应该要铺放在腿上,不是别在领口上的,更不可以拿餐巾来擦桌子或餐具!使用刀叉的时候,倒没有禁忌不可以拿着叉子讲话,因为在外国,放下餐具表示你已经吃完,准备请服务生来收走了。当然啦,如果要比手画脚的时候例外,毕竟拿着刀叉挥舞还是挺不安全的!

  享用食物的时候安静是基本的礼貌,像是喝汤、嚼食物都不应该出声音,打嗝的声音尤其会惹人白眼,万一打嗝发出了声音,应该对同桌的人说「Excuse me」表示歉意。千万不要塞得满嘴的食物,慢慢一口一口吃。发表意见时,应该等食物完全吞下去之后再讲话,不可以一边嚼一边讲话。如果有鱼刺或骨头,应该尽量先用刀叉挑出来或切除掉,再放到嘴里面,不适合嚼一嚼之后再用嘴巴吐出来,假如不得已必须要这样做,也最好悄悄地、稍微用餐巾布遮掩一下比较好喔。

  西方的礼仪和我国有许多的相似之处。

  零零总总谈了一些基本西方礼仪,其实最基本的还是爸妈平时生活教养的功夫。如果常常提醒孩子遵守礼貌规矩,让孩子懂得规范自己、尊重别人,相信在国外旅游的时候,也能很快就适应不同的礼节了!

  中国自古就是礼仪之邦,西方的礼仪和我国有许多的相似之处。在当前国际交往频繁的形式下,不论是在国内接待外宾或出国访问旅游,不论是将要留学国外或常驻国外工作都有必要学习一下西方的礼仪。

  礼节有两个方面:其一要从内心去关心他人的需要和情感;其二要以一定的行为方式表现出来,由此人们通常可以判断我们家庭教养的状况。礼节的实质就是处处为别人着想,这也就是要实行那条金笺:你想别人怎样对待你,你就该怎样对待别人。所谓考虑他人的要点就是要使自己的衣着和举止尽可能让人喜欢。一看到衣着雅致、彬彬有礼的人,你就会觉得日常生活增添了许多乐趣。相反,看到的是衣着不整,礼节不周的人,你就会有明显的缺少什幺以及不舒服和烦恼的感觉。

  中国的礼节与西方的礼节有时差别很大。

  如果你想同西方人相处和谐,了解西方的礼节是非常重要的。

  最简单的问候是说一声"早上好"、"下午好",或"晚上好".这种问候可以用于你不太熟悉的人或者任何与你匆匆擦肩而过的人。

  若你不很匆忙时,对不认识的人可说一声"你好",回答你的也应该是"你好".

  当你第一次与别人见面时,通常要握手。此外,久违的朋友相见时,通常也要握手。然而,相遇时不握手也行,微微鞠一个躬,也是很有礼貌的。

  如果谁要和你握手,你当然要同他握手——拒绝握手是非常不礼貌的。通常是由年龄大的一方或者女子先伸出手。

  你在向别人问好时,直呼别人的姓名也常常是得体的。你可以说;"早上好,蒙克里夫先生"或"你好,富兰克林".

  有些问候在中国是合乎礼节的,而在西方却不被采用。如果你问候一个西方人说"你上哪儿去?"(Where are you going?)或说"你去哪儿啦?"(Where have you been?)他会想你在打听他的私事,实在是太失礼了。

  而如果你说:"你吃过了吗?"(Have you had your dinner?),他可能会认为你想邀请他与你共同进餐。因此,和西方人相处时,你最好使用西方通常的问候方式。

  当你受到邀请时,你必须立即作复,明确地说明你究竟能不能接受这次邀请。如果对方是在谈话中或偶然遇见时口头提出邀请的,你就应该立刻回答能不能去。如果当时不能回答,你可以说 "我今晚告诉你,行吗?"或诸如此类的话。但不管是口头邀请还是书面邀请,都应当给予明确的回答。

  通常来说,表示你的确不能接受邀请的客气的办法是说出你不能不谢绝的理由。只是说一声"我不能去"或"我不去"是不礼貌的。说一声"对不起"也是不够的。只说一声"谢谢",那就只能使人莫名其妙,不知你到底是接受邀请,还是谢绝邀请。

  如果你接受了邀请,忽然有事不能赴约。你应当把你不能前往的真实原因告诉对方,接受了邀请而又不赴约是一件极不礼貌的事情。

  在经历了饮食习惯的历史沿革之后,当我们都围坐在铺着雪白桌布、摆着锃亮刀叉的餐桌旁时,吃饭已经从只为了充饥的需求而发展成为一种令人愉快在复杂的社会习俗。今天,在你应邀赴宴的时候,你对同桌进餐的人和餐桌上的谈话,大概比对饮食要更感兴趣。实际进餐时,应该尽可能少一些声响,少一些动作。

  女主人一拿起餐巾时,你也就可以拿起你的餐巾,放在腿上。有时餐巾中包有一只小面包;如果是 那样的话, 就把它取出,放在旁边的小碟上。

  在西方,汽车有优先通行权。几个人肩并肩地排成一行走是不礼貌的。因为那样会妨碍别人行走或耽搁别人的时间。

  西方店铺,除极少数外,都对商品明码标价,没有讨价还价的习惯。店员们都很客气,尽力为顾客找到满意的商品。顾客也必须很客气,如果看了好几件物品以后,一件都不想买,顾客可以说: "恐怕这些都不是我所需要的,麻烦你了,多谢。"

  "谢谢你"(Thank you)这名话在西方比在中国用得要更加频繁得多。任何人替你做了一些事,不管事情多小,也不管他是你的上司还是佣人,你都应该说:"谢谢你".

  你讲话完毕以后,千万不要向听众致谢。不要说:"谢谢你们","我谢谢你们",或"多谢你们注意听我讲话"等。讲话完毕时,略微欠欠身就够了,不必要多讲什幺。

  当你给别人传递点东西或替人做些小事情而别人谢你时,你不必说什幺,只须笑一笑或点点头就够了。

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