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Mother Keeps Goldfish

2006-07-29 15:32

  Mother wasn't fond of animals. I had never seen her keep a bird or a cat as a pet until last Sunday when she told me she was going to keep some goldfish. I was quite surprised to hear that and didn't believe it was true. But the next day, Mother came home happily with some pieces of glass, a small bottle of glue and some little goldfish. That evening I saw my parents [Motherand Father] (1) making a goldfish bowl with the glass. The third [following] (2) morning when the glue became dry, they put the fish and water into the bowl.

  Mother looked very happy when she looked at the fish in the bowl. “How do you like my fish?” she asked me. “I'm afraid you forget something important,” I said. Mother looked at me in surprise. “Please tell me what it is.” “The food for fish,” I answered. “Oh God! How foolish I am! I even didn't know fish needs food,” she said with her eyes wide open.

  “But Mom, why did you suddenly begin to keep fish?” I asked.

  “Oh, for your sake,” she said, “I read your composition 'Fish' last week. That was terrible. You didn't know how fish lived. Now you can watch the way fish lives. And I hope you'll write better next time.”

  陕西省长安县第205研究所附属中学高三(2)班  林峻

  评    语

  抓住生活中的一幕进行描写读来生动自然。从母亲不喜欢动物到突然开始养鱼,设置了“悬念”,最后通过母子对话道出了原因,使“母亲养鱼”有了较深的意义。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下:

  (1)这里改为用mother和father更亲切。

  (2)这里用following较好。

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