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Business one-liners 20

2006-07-08 09:23

  Government's Law: There is an exception to all laws.

  Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3, not even for large values of 2.

  Gray's Law of Programming: 'n+1' trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same time as 'n' tasks.

  Green's Law of Debate: Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

  Greener's Law: Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.

  Grelb's Reminder: Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average drivers.

  Gummidges's Law: The amount of expertise varies in inverse proportion to the number of statements understood by the general public.

  Gumperson's Law: The probability of a given event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

  H. L. Mencken's Law: Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. Martin's Extension: Those who cannot teach, administrate.

  Hacker's Law: The belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir a nation to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions.

  Hall's Laws of Politics: 1) The voters want fewer taxes and more spending. 2) Citizens want honest politicians until they want something fixed. 3) Constituency drives out consistency (i.e., liberals defend military spending, and conservatives social spending in their own districts)。

  Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

  Hanson's Treatment of Time: There are never enough hours in a day, but always too many days before Saturday.

  Harp's Corollary To Estridge's Law: Your “IBM PC-compatible” computer grows more incompatible with every passing moment.

  Harrisberger's Fourth Law of the Lab: Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined.

  Hartley's First Law: You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float on his back, you've got something.

  Hawaiian Rules Of J.W.: 1) Never judge a day by the weather. 2) The best things in life aren't things. 3) Tell the truth; there's less to remember. 4) Speak softly and wear a loud aloha shirt. 5) Goals are deceptive; the unaimed arrow never misses. 6) He who dies with the most toys, still dies. 7) Age is relative; when you're over the hill, you pick up speed. 8) There are two ways to be rich: make more or desire less. 9) Beauty is internal; looks mean nothing. 10) No rain, no rainbows.

  Heller's Law: The first myth of management is that it exists.

  Hinds' Law Of Computer Programming: 1) Any given program, when running, is obsolete. 2) If a program is useful, it will have to be changed. 3) If a program is useless, it will have to be documented. 4) Any given program will expand to fill all available memory. 5) The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output. 6) Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it. 7) Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you will find that programmers cannot write in English.

  Hlade's Law: If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person; they will find an easier way to do it.

  Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account.

  Horngren's Observation: Among economists, the real world is often a special case.

  Hubbard's Law: Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out of it alive.

  Hurewitz's Memory Principle: The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to……to…… uh……

  IBM Project Management Axiom: Need for project modifications increases proportionally to project completion.

  Instruction Booklet Governing Principle: Instruction booklets are lost by the Goods Delivery Service. If not, they are listed in four languages: Japanese, Thai, Swahili, and Mongol.

  Jenkinson's Law: It won't work.

  Johnson-Laird's Law: Toothache tends to start on Saturday night.

  Johnson's Corollary: Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere within the organization.

  Kramer's Law: You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

  Larkinson's Law: All laws are basically false.

  The Last One's Law Of Program Generators: A program generator creates programs that are more “buggy” than the program generator.

  Law Of The Perversity of Nature: You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.

  The Law Of The Too Solid Goof: In any collection of data, the figures that are obviously correct beyond all need of checking contain the errors. Corollary 1: No one you ask for help will see the error either. Corollary 2: Any nagging intruder, who stops by with unsought advice, will spot it immediately.

  Robert E. Lee's Truce: Judgement comes from experience; experience comes from poor judgement.

  Lieberman's Law: Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter, because nobody listens.

  Logg's Rebuttal to Gray's Law: 'n+1' trivial tasks take twice as long as 'n' trivial tasks.

  Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

  Lynch's Law: When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

  Manly's Maxim: Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

  Mason's First Law of Synergism: The one day you'd sell your soul for something, souls are a glut.

  May's Law: The quality of correlation is inversely proportional to the density of control. (The fewer the data points, the smoother the curves.)

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