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My New Shirt

2006-07-29 14:52

  For quite some time after I entered Leping Middle School, I had been longing for a beautiful new shirt, because all my shirts were worn out.

  There was a nice green shirt in a shop-window on my way to school. Whenever I passed the shop, I would stop to have a look at it. As my family was not rich, the green shirt was too expensive for me to ask my parents to buy. [But how I wished I could have it!] (1)

  One day, I went as usual to the shop to look at the shirt, but to my surprise the shirt was gone. So I went home, full of tears , [as if I had lost something precious] (2)。

  As soon as I got home, Mother called for [called] (3) me in her room. I wiped away my tears at once, and went into the room. To my joy I found the beautiful green shirt lying on the bed. I came over to the shirt, picked it up, and looked at it carefully. [Yes! It was the one that had been in the shop-window and that I had been longing for so much.] (4) I came to my mother and threw myself into her arms. Tears were running down my cheeks when I said, “Thank you very much, Mother.”

  That day was the happiest one I had ever had. I don't know how Mother saved up enough money for the shirt, but I have come to realize that although the shirt was costly, nothing is dearer than the love of my parents for me.

  江西省乐平中学高三(4)班  叶冬生

  评    语

  从对“衬衣”的“渴望”,到发现“衬衣不见了”时的“失落”,最后得到“衬衣”时的喜悦,以及由此领悟到“父母之爱的深切”。全文一气呵成,感情真挚。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下:

  (1)、(2)、(4)为全文更加连贯和呼应,特作这些添加。

  (3)叫喊某人用call sb.,不必加for,call for意为“邀约”。

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