外语教育网
您的位置:外语教育网 > 基础英语 > 英语写作 > 写作范文 正文
  • 站内搜索:

A Story in My Childhood

2006-07-29 15:34

  I still remember something interesting in my childhood. One day,some of my little friends founded(成立)a “kingdom”(王国)and made a ten-year-old boy their “king”。 They also made it a rule that nobody else could join them in playing games unless he or she became a member of the “kingdom”。 How I wished to join the“kingdom”and play with the children! So the next day I went to see the“king”。

  “Hello, king! I'd like to be a man of yours. Would you like to admit me?”I asked.

  “It depends if[That depends on whether](1) you can guess our password,”the“king”answered.

  “Oh, it's too much to[for](2) me,”as I knew they changed their password every day.“But I'd like to have a try.”I said.“By the way, how many times can I guess?”

  “Three times. Now it's time for your first try[your first try](3)。”

  “The sky,”I said without thinking much.

  “No. Guess again.”

  “The sun?”

  “That's wrong. Now the last chance for you.”

  I felt nervous. Suddenly I saw a tree nearby.

  “Tree,”I shouted.

  “You're mistaken again.”

  My heart sank. Just when I was about to go home, the “king”stopped me.“Just a moment, please. Now I declare you are my man!”

  What a pleasant surprise! But I didn't know why I was so lucky until I found out later that the“king”hadn't decided on the password for that day until I said“tree”。

  陕西省长安205研究所附中  Yue Zhi

  评    语

  这是一篇写得颇有童趣的作文,特别是对话部分写得尤为出色。另外,结尾出人意料,使文章更具可读性。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下:

  (1)depend on“取决于”后面不能用if引导的从句。That depends或It all depends意为“这要看情况”,后面一般不再跟句子。

  (2)这里应该是“It's too much for me to do that”的简写,因此me前面介词要用for,不能用to.

  (3)已经说了now,可以不必再用It's time,否则在口语中会显得啰唆。

相关热词:写作 范文

上一篇:Add Feet

下一篇:A Happy Spring Festival

栏目相关课程表
科目名称 主讲老师 课时 免费试听 优惠价 购买课程
英语零起点 郭俊霞 30课时 试听 150元/门 购买
综艺乐园 ------ 15课时 试听 100元/门 购买
边玩边学 ------ 10课时 试听 60元/门 购买
情景喜剧 ------ 15课时 试听 100元/门 购买
欢乐课堂 ------ 35课时 试听 150元/门 购买
趣味英语速成 钟 平 18课时 试听 179元/门 购买
剑桥少儿英语预备级 (Pre-Starters) ------ ------ 试听 200元/门 购买
剑桥少儿英语一级 (Starters) ------ ------ 试听 200元/门 购买
剑桥少儿英语二级 (Movers) ------ ------ 试听 200元/门 购买
剑桥少儿英语三级 (Flyers) ------ ------ 试听 200元/门 购买
初级英语口语 ------ 55课时 ------ 350元/门 购买
中级英语口语 ------ 83课时 ------ 350元/门 购买
高级英语口语 ------ 122课时 ------ 350元/门 购买
基础英语辅导课程
郭俊霞 北京语言大学毕业,国内某知名中学英语教研组长,教学标兵……详情>>
郭俊霞:零基础英语网上辅导名师
钟平 北大才俊,英语辅导专家,累计从事英语教学八年,机械化翻译公式发明人……详情>>
钟平:趣味英语速成网上辅导名师

  1、凡本网注明 “来源:外语教育网”的所有作品,版权均属外语教育网所有,未经本网授权不得转载、链接、转贴或以其他方式使用;已经本网授权的,应在授权范围内使用,且必须注明“来源:外语教育网”。违反上述声明者,本网将追究其法律责任。
  2、本网部分资料为网上搜集转载,均尽力标明作者和出处。对于本网刊载作品涉及版权等问题的,请作者与本网站联系,本网站核实确认后会尽快予以处理。本网转载之作品,并不意味着认同该作品的观点或真实性。如其他媒体、网站或个人转载使用,请与著作权人联系,并自负法律责任。
  3、联系方式
  编辑信箱:for68@chinaacc.com
  电话:010-82319999-2371