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A Lesson I Learnt

2006-07-29 15:44

  Once in the primary school there was a broken chair in our classroom. The board(木板)on it had been lost, and therefore, nobody was able to sit on it.

  One day, I said to a friend of mine,“You see, the chair is broken, and it must be great fun if you turn it over and put it on the shoulder, [and] (1) then walk in the classroom by shouting [shouting for attention]”(2)。

  “Oh, that's a good idea!”He was excited, and immediately did what I told him to do.

  “Look at me. It's so interesting!”He shouted with the chair on his shoulder and walked up and down the classroom.

  To our surprise, the teacher came in and saw him.“What are you doing, silly boy?”The teacher shouted at him angrily. “Just stand here with your chair!”

  “But it was…”he wanted to say that it was I who told [had told] (3) him to do so, but the teacher interrupted him. “Don't say anything else. Stand here quietly until I tell you to put it down!”

  He wasn't allowed to say anything with the chair on his shoulder. For a long time, he looked sad, tearful and even angry.

  I felt sorry for him, but it was too late. The punishment made him so sad that he wouldn't talk to me any more. I lost his friendship.

  This experience has told me that nobody should take advantage of others' innocence(天真,单纯,无知)。 You will lose many friends if you do so.

  上海市大同中学高三(5)班  王炜

  评    语

  童年时代的生活充满童趣,令人难忘。其中有不少小事却能令人深思,给人以启示。王炜同学抓住这样一件小事,引申出了一段道理。文章语言简洁,利用对话使记叙生动明快。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下:

  (1)一连串并列的动作,最后一个动作前还是加上连接词and为好。

  (2)介词by用得令人费解。不如去掉,现在分词shouting表示伴随情况,根据下文,加上for attention.

  (3)根据上下文,这里用过去完成时为好。

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