Q： What do you get if you put 100 lawyers in your basement？
A： A whine cellar.
Q： What do you call a lawyer gone bad？
A： Your honor.
Q： What do you call a judge gone bad？
Q： Have you heard about the lawyers? word processor？
A： No matter what font you select， everything comes out in fine print.
Q： What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer？
A： A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
Q： When lawyers die， why don't vultures them？
A： Even a vulture has taste.
Q： What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 10？
A： A lawyer.
Q： What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50？
A： Your honor.
Q： How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung？
A： You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck！
Q： If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler， Atilla the Hun， and a lawyer， and you have a gun with only two bullets， what do you do？
A： Shoot the lawyer twice.
Q： What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean？
A： A good start！
Q： How can you tell when a lawyer is lying？
A： His lips are moving.
Q： What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road？
A： There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q： Why won't sharks attack lawyers？
A： Professional courtesy.
Q： What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand？
A： Not enough sand.
Q： Why did God make snakes just before lawyers？
A： To practice.
A command was given to a dog： “SPEAK！”The dog said in return： “Not without my lawyer present！”
Q： Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop？
A： Because of the abundance of suckers， leeches， maggots and nightcrawlers
Q： Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.？
A： Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.
Q： What the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo？
A： The lawyer charges more.