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Question and answer Lawyer jokes 2

2006-07-08 11:22

  Q: What do you get if you put 100 lawyers in your basement?

  A: A whine cellar.

  Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?

  A: Your honor.

  Q: What do you call a judge gone bad?

  A: Senator.

  Q: Have you heard about the lawyers? word processor?

  A: No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.

  Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?

  A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

  Q: When lawyers die, why don't vultures them?

  A: Even a vulture has taste.

  Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 10?

  A: A lawyer.

  Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50?

  A: Your honor.

  Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?

  A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!

  Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?

  A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

  Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

  A: A good start!

  Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

  A: His lips are moving.

  Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

  A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

  Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

  A: Professional courtesy.

  Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

  A: Not enough sand.

  Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

  A: To practice.

  A command was given to a dog: “SPEAK!”The dog said in return: “Not without my lawyer present!”

  Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?

  A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers

  Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?

  A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.

  Q: What the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

  A: The lawyer charges more.

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