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Full Marks Lost

2006-07-29 15:54

  When I was at primary school, I liked maths very much. Every time we had a maths exam, I would work hard in order to get full marks. But I never really got it[made it](1), because I always made some careless mistakes.

  Once after an exam, the teacher said to the class,“This time some students did really well. For example, Wang Shen and Liu Yu have got 100 points.”Then the test papers were given back to us and the teacher began to give us the correct answers. I looked through my paper again and again. No mistake this time! Not even one! [All ticks. So no mistakes this time!](2)How happy I was! That was wonderful. Suddenly my heart bounced[started to beat hard](3):the teacher's answer to a question was different from mine.“Is mine wrong?”Oh, yes, my answer was wrong. But the teacher didn't notice[had failed to notice](4)it. When I saw the red mark“100”on my paper, my heart ached. No, I didn't want to lose it! I thought hard. I really wanted that 100, but…

  This time I still didn't get full marks, because I put up my hand finally…What a pity! But I was still happy. I knew I was an honest boy and I only took what I deserved(应得到的)。

  北京工业大学附中高二(4)班  王坤

  评    语

  描写考试的作文不少,但这篇文章无论从选材还是写作角度都给人以不落俗套的感觉,特别是对“I”的内心描写尤为成功。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下:

  (1)原文it指代不清,用短语make it可表示succeed.

  (2)实际上是教师改错了,不是没有错,只是看到all ticks,才认为没有错的。

  (3)bounce一般指球“弹跳”,或指人“跳起”等意思,心跳可以用beat或throb.

  (4)根据上下文这里应该用过去完成时,表示老师当初在改卷子时,改错了。

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