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驯悍有方

2006-07-12 12:38

  A man was talking to his friend about how he hated to go home after a late card game.

  “You wouldn't believe what I go through to avoid waking my wife,” he said. “First, I kill the engine a block from the house and coast into garage. Then I open the door slowly. Next I take off my shoes and tiptoe into our room. But just as I'm about to slide into bed, she always wakes up and gives me a hell.”

  “I make a big racket when I go home,” his friend said.

  “You do?”

  “Sure. I honk the hone, slam the door, turn on all the lights, stomp up the bedroom and give my wife a big kiss, 'Hi, Alice,' I say, 'How about a little smooch for your old man?'”

  “And what does she say?” his friend asked him in disbelief.

  “She doesn't say anything,” his buddy replied. “She always pretends she's asleep.”

  男士们正在向他的朋友讲述他打牌打晚了是如何害怕回家。

  “你肯定不能相信因为怕吵醒妻子,我采取了什么办法。”他说,“首先,在离家还有一个街区的时候,我就把发动机熄了火,靠惯性将车开进车库。然后我慢慢地打开房门,紧接着我脱掉鞋子,轻手轻脚地走进卧室。可就在我要溜进被窝时,她总会醒来,把我骂个狗血淋头。”

  “我回家时该吵就吵,该闹就闹。”他的朋友说。

  “是吗?”

  “当然啦。我把喇叭按得嘟嘟响,把门关得砰砰响,把灯全部打开,咚咚地走进卧室,再重重地吻妻子一下。'喂,爱丽丝,'我说,'亲亲你老公,怎么样?'”

  “她怎么说?”他的朋友不相信地问道。

  “她什么也不说,”他的伙伴说:“她总是假装睡着了。”

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