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An Unforgettable Day

2006-07-29 15:50

  One morning, I went to school very early. When I arrived at our classroom, I saw only a few students reading there. In order not to interrupt them, I came to my desk quietly. Before sitting down, I found a letter lying on my desk. I tore it open and began to read it.

  “Dear Miss Zhou, … I feel I have fallen in love with you…Could you give[do] (1)me a favour? I'll wait for you at the gate after school this afternoon.…Kiss you…”

  My God! A love letter! Who wrote it?…At that moment, I was struck dumb with fear. I could almost hear the beating of my heart. If someone knows it, I will…No! No! I never expected that such a shameful thing would happen to me. I was too young to accept it. What should I do with it?

  For the whole morning, I did nothing but think about it. I dared not face the classmates. It seemed as if I was[were](2)undergoing a severe test. In fact, it[I] (3)was.

  I was deep in thought when I thought of my class teacher.She often said to us,“I will be a friend of yours. If you have any trouble, I'll do my best to help you.”Yes, she was then the only person who could understand me.

  At noon, I gave the letter to my teacher and asked her for advice. To my delight, she promised not only to help me at the class meeting of that day, but also to keep the secret for me.

  To me the remaining time went by in a whirl of uneasiness (不安)。

  It was time for the class meeting. The feelings of nervousness and excitement came back again. Fortunately, the first subject of the meeting was what I had been longing for. My teacher asked our monitor to read an article which said that the middle school students were forbidden to be in love. On hearing this, many of my classmates could not help laughing, but our“brave”monitor went on. Finally my teacher gave us some advice. However, I hadn't been calmed down completely.

  School was over. I was going home with doubt when our monitor appeared and said to me.

  “I'm very sorry. It's me who have written(4)the letter.”

  Why? I simply couldn't believe my ears. It was he, our monitor, who had read the article[at the class meeting] (5)。Oh, yes, wasn't it my teacher's clever arrangement? She must have recognized his handwriting.

  I was sorry that my monitor had received such a special “punishment”。 But in the meantime, I thought that it was necessary for him to get it, because he had broken the rules.

  I smiled a sweet smile on my way home. I had passed an unforgettable day happily in my life.

  湖南省湘乡市第三中学43班  周今朝

  评 语

  作为一个中学生,当有人对你说:“我爱你”时,应该怎么办?作者从这个广大同龄人感兴趣的问题入手,一下子抓住了读者,然后通过作者的内心思考突出如何正确解决这一问题的悬念。最后描述老师“聪明的办法”,使问题得到圆满解决。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下:

  (1)一般用do sb. a favour这样的搭配。

  (2)这里根据上下文应该用虚拟式。

  (3)原句应该是“In fact, I was undergoing a severe test”的简略式,因此,主语不能用it,而要用I.

  (4)当强调结构所强调的内容为句子主语时,主格代词也可以换作宾格代词。但据A University Grammar of English 称,改用宾格代词后,后面的谓语动词要用第三人称形式。如:

  It is I who am to blame.

  It is me who is to blame.

  因此,原句中have似乎用得欠妥。

  (5)这里加上at the class meeting使语义更清楚。

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