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My First Experience of an Earthquake

2006-07-29 15:47

  The earthquake is an enemy of mankind. No one likes or expects[looks forward to](1) an earthquake, because it does great harm to people and destroys a lot of things, such as buildings, bridges, and roads.

  My first experience of an earthquake is [was] (2) quite unusual, which happened last month. It was about 9:50 at night. [It happened last month, at about 9:50 at night.] (3) My parents had gone to sleep, but I was still watching TV. Suddenly I heard some noise from the TV set. I didn't know what was wrong with it. Instead of turning it off, I watched on. Pretty soon, I felt my chair shaking, and some glasses on the table fell off onto the floor. I got greatly surprised and didn't know what was happening.

  Soon afterwards, I heard some shouts outside. Looking out of the window, I saw many people running into the streets, shouting:“Earthquake!”

  “Earthquake!”I shouted to myself. Suddenly, something I had learned about earthquakes on TV came to my mind. Oh, dear! Earthquakes are really terrible. They always bring disasters to people and pull down lots of buildings and houses. As I wondered [was wondering](4) what to do, the floor stopped shaking and everything became quiet again. In fact, the earthquake had just happened. Yet, luckily enough, the earthquake came to an end, without doing any harm to people.

  Such was my first experience of an earthquake. Though I felt afraid and strange (5) at that time, I learned something from it, which I will never forget in my life.

  宁波万里国际学校高一(1)班  陈柠

  评    语

  自己难忘的经历或感想,是很好的作文题材,因为是亲身感受就会觉得有东西可写。这篇文章在对地震发生时家具电器等的异常反应描写得十分逼真,给文章增添了生动的色彩。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下:

  (1)expect表示主语等待着(他认为)会发生的事情,如:He expected John home at six. 这里根据上下文,作者想要表达的是人们不欢迎地震,改用(not) look forward to更好。

  (2)这里应该用过去时。

  (3)原句较松散,故改之。改后在unusual后用句号。

  (4)这里用过去进行时,表示在wondering过程中,the floor stopped shaking…

  (5)feel strange的意思并不等于汉语的“感到奇怪”,而是“感到不自在,不舒服”等,如:I felt strange and lonely when I first came to this place. 汉语中的“感到奇怪”其实是主语感到某事或某人奇怪,汉语可根据上下文把某事某人省去,而英语则不行。所以汉语“感到奇怪”写成英文时要把相应的宾语加上去,如feel sth./sb. strange.或者用其他表达形式,如:I feel surprised…。这里根据上下文,作者的意思是感到地震表现出的情况奇怪,所以不能这样用。如果作者想要表达的是“感到不自在、不舒服”,那就另当别论了。

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