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My Family English Party

2006-07-29 15:45

  To see how I was getting on with my English study, my father had told[told] (1) me to prepare an English party. On a Saturday evening, we were all ready for the party with some guests from our neighbourhood. When Father came up smiling at me [turned to me with a smile](2), I knew it was time for me to start the party.

  In a loud and clear voice, I announced,“Ladies and gentlemen, Family English Party now begins.”With this came a burst of applause and some nice comments from the guests——“Great!”“A student from Wanli International School can speak English so well. Wonderful!”

  How excited I was, for you see, it was the first time for me, a junior schoolgirl, to host an English party like this. Greatly encouraged, I went on with my program, such as a song of“Happy New Year”, a rhyme“Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”and a short play together with my sister. I was moved when my parents joined in singing and deeply impressed by one of my questions“Why does a cat like a fish?”, to which my sister gave a clever answer [my sister's clever answer to one of my questions“Why does a cat like fish?]”(3)——“It's easy to ask a cat's mother.”Soon the house was full of laughters[laughter] (4) and everyone was in high spirits, especially my father, who was quite satisfied with my performance.

  The English party was over, but it has made me more interested in English. English is really important and useful in our daily life.

  宁波万里国际学校601班  施晨佳

  评    语

  家庭英语晚会,本身就很有新意,作者重点突出了父母亲对举行晚会的支持,特别是强调了父母亲一起参与节目表演,从而表达出了理想的家庭氛围对孩子学习英语的重要性。文章中某些语言上的不足之处点评修改如下:

  (1)这里没有必要用过去完成时。作者可能想表示父亲叫我准备party是发生在party之前,但在文章开头还没提到过party,是没有必要区分动作先后的。

  (2)come up doing sth.这样的搭配有些费解。

  (3)原文语序不合逻辑。自己怎么对自己的问题“deeply impressed”呢?除非是parents,但这样的话,deeply impressed 前还要加上were.即便如此,deeply impressed的内容也首先应该是答案,而非问题。

  (4)laughter是不可数名词。

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