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Business one-liners 16

2006-07-08 09:14

  Old programmers never die, they just abend.

  On a beautiful day like this, it's hard to believe anybody can be unhappy; but we will work on it.

  On successive charts of the same organization, the number of boxes will never decrease.

  One child is not enough, but two children are far too many.

  One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.

  One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. - Elbert Hubbard

  One of the greatest labor-saving inventions today is tomorrow.

  One of those days? I have one of those lives.

  One seventh of your life is spent on Mondays.

  Only a bureaucracy can fight a bureaucracy.

  Only a fool can reproduce another fool's work.

  Only a mediocre person is always at their best.

  Only them as knows their own……knows.

  Only those who attempt the absurd can acheive the impossible.

  One test is worth a thousand expert opinions.

  Old age is always fifteen years older than you are.

  It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

  Never speculate on that which can be known for certain.

  There is one big difference between genius and stupidity; genius has limits.

  Things are more like today than they ever were before.

  Things could be worse; suppose your errors were counted and published every day, like those of a baseball player.

  Things get worse under pressure.

  Things go right so they can go wrnog.

  Thinking is hard work. One can't bear burdens and ideas at the same time.

  This “law” has been intentionally left blank.

  This “law” was inadvertently left blank.

  This is clearly another case of too many mad scientists and not enough hunchbacks.

  This space for rent.

  Those most opposed to serving on committees are made chairmen.

  Those who live closest arrive latest.

  Those with the best advice offer no advice.

  To achieve the impossible, one must think the absurd; to look where everyone else has looked, but to see what no one else has seen.

  To attract maximum attention, it's hard to beat a good, big, dumb mistake.

  To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

  To err is human. To admit it is a blunder.

  To err is human. To blame it on someone else is even more human.

  To err is human. To blame it on someone else is politics.

  To err is human. To forgive is simply not company policy.

  To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of them absent.

  To know yourself is the ultimate form of aggression.

  To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

  To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

  Too light for heavy work and too heavy for light work.

  Treat people as if they are what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being.

  Trust everybody……then cut the cards.

  Try to be the best of whatever you are, even if what you are is no good.

  Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.

  Two heads are more numerous than one.

  Two monologues do not make a dialogue.

  Two rules to success in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know.

  Two wrongs are only the beginning.

  Unemployment helps stretch your coffee break.

  Unless absolutely essential, borrowing to buy a depreciating asset is dumb.

  Unless the results are known in advance, funding agencies will reject the proposal.

  Urgency varies inversely with importance.

  Usefulness is inversely proportional to its reputation for being useful.

  Virtue is its own punishment.

  Wasting time is an important part of living.

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