外语教育网
您的位置:外语教育网 > 英语文化视窗 > 文学与艺术 > 小说 正文
  • 站内搜索:

The Amateur Gentleman (Chapter57)

2006-08-28 16:18

  Chapter LVII. Being a Parenthetical Chapter on Doubt, Which, Though Uninteresting, is Very Short

  It will perhaps be expected that, owing to this unhappy state of affairs, Barnabas should have found sleep a stranger to his pillow; but, on the contrary, reaching London at daybreak, he went to bed, and there, wearied by his long ride, found a blessed oblivion from all his cares and sorrows. Nor did he wake till the day was far spent and evening at hand. But, with returning consciousness came Memory to harrow him afresh, came cold Pride and glowing Anger. And with these also was yet another emotion, and one that he had never known till now, whose name is Doubt; doubt of himself and of his future——that deadly foe to achievement and success——that ghoul-like incubus which, once it fastens on a man, seldom leaves him until courage, and hope, and confidence are dead, and nothing remains but a foreknowledge and expectation of failure.

  With this grisly spectre at his elbow Barnabas rose and dressed, and went downstairs to make a pretence of breaking his fast.

  "Sir," said Peterby, watching how he sat staring down moodily at the table, "sir, you eat nothing."

  "No, John, I'm not hungry," he answered, pushing his plate aside. "By the way, did you find the cottage I mentioned in my note? Though, indeed, you've had very little time."

  "Yes, sir, I found one just beyond Lewisham, small, though comfortable. Here is the key, sir."

  "Thank you, John," said Barnabas, and thereafter sat staring gloomily at the key until Peterby spoke again:

  "Sir, pray forgive me, but I fear you are in some trouble. Is it your misunderstanding with Viscount Devenham? I couldn't help but overhear, and——"

  "Ah, yes——even the Viscount has quarrelled with me," sighed Barnabas, "next it will be the Marquis, I suppose, and after him——Gad, John Peterby——I shall have only you left!"

  "Indeed, sir, you will always have me——always!"

  "Yes, John, I think I shall."

  "Sir, when you——gave a miserable wretch another chance to live and be a man, you were young and full of life."

  "Yes, I was very, very young!" sighed Barnabas.

  "But you were happy——your head was high and your eye bright with confident hope and purpose."

  "Yes, I was very confident, John."

  "And therefore——greatly successful, sir. Your desire was to cut a figure in the Fashionable World. Well, to-day you have your wish——to-day you are famous, and yet——"

  "Well, John?"

  "Sir, to-day I fear you are——not happy."

  "No, I'm not happy," sighed Barnabas, "for oh! John Peterby, what shall it profit a man though he gain the whole world, and lose his soul!"

  "Ah, sir——you mean——?"

  "I mean——the Lady Cleone, John. Losing her, I lose all, and success is worse than failure."

  "But, sir,——must you lose her?"

  "I fear so. Who am I that she should stoop to me among so many? Who am I to expect so great happiness?"

  "Sir," said Peterby, shaking his head, "I have never known you doubt yourself or fortune till now!"

  "It never occurred to me, John."

  "And because of this unshaken confidence in yourself you won the steeplechase, sir——unaided and alone you won for yourself a place in the most exclusive circles in the World of Fashion——without friends or influence you achieved the impossible, because you never doubted."

  "Yes, I was very confident, John, but then, you see, I never thought anything impossible——till now."

  "And therefore you succeeded, sir. But had you constantly doubted your powers and counted failure even as a possibility, you might still have dreamed of your success——but never achieved it."

  "Why then," sighed Barnabas, rising, "it seems that Failure has marked me for her own at last, for never was man fuller of doubt than I."

相关热词:小说
栏目相关课程表
科目名称 主讲老师 课时 免费试听 优惠价 购买课程
英语零起点 郭俊霞 30课时 试听 150元/门 购买
综艺乐园 ------ 15课时 试听 100元/门 购买
边玩边学 ------ 10课时 试听 60元/门 购买
情景喜剧 ------ 15课时 试听 100元/门 购买
欢乐课堂 ------ 35课时 试听 150元/门 购买
趣味英语速成 钟 平 18课时 试听 179元/门 购买
剑桥少儿英语预备级 (Pre-Starters) ------ ------ 试听 200元/门 购买
剑桥少儿英语一级 (Starters) ------ ------ 试听 200元/门 购买
剑桥少儿英语二级 (Movers) ------ ------ 试听 200元/门 购买
剑桥少儿英语三级 (Flyers) ------ ------ 试听 200元/门 购买
初级英语口语 ------ 55课时 ------ 350元/门 购买
中级英语口语 ------ 83课时 ------ 350元/门 购买
高级英语口语 ------ 122课时 ------ 350元/门 购买
基础英语辅导课程
郭俊霞 北京语言大学毕业,国内某知名中学英语教研组长,教学标兵……详情>>
郭俊霞:零基础英语网上辅导名师
钟平 北大才俊,英语辅导专家,累计从事英语教学八年,机械化翻译公式发明人……详情>>
钟平:趣味英语速成网上辅导名师

  1、凡本网注明 “来源:外语教育网”的所有作品,版权均属外语教育网所有,未经本网授权不得转载、链接、转贴或以其他方式使用;已经本网授权的,应在授权范围内使用,且必须注明“来源:外语教育网”。违反上述声明者,本网将追究其法律责任。
  2、本网部分资料为网上搜集转载,均尽力标明作者和出处。对于本网刊载作品涉及版权等问题的,请作者与本网站联系,本网站核实确认后会尽快予以处理。本网转载之作品,并不意味着认同该作品的观点或真实性。如其他媒体、网站或个人转载使用,请与著作权人联系,并自负法律责任。
  3、联系方式
  编辑信箱:for68@chinaacc.com
  电话:010-82319999-2371