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A Parody Outline of History(22)

2006-09-07 21:55

  Scene III

  A section of a Hun trench a minute later. Two Hun soldiers are conversing together; another Hun is reading a copy of Nietzsche.

  First Hun Soldier——And then we cut the hands off all the little children—— oh it was wonderful.

  Second Hun Soldier——I wish I had been there.

  A Hun Lieutenant rushes in.

  The Hun Lieutenant——(Kicking the three men and brandishing his revolver)——Swine——wake up——here come the Americans.

  The three spring to their feet and seize their guns. At the top of the trench appears the American lieutenant, closely followed by the three soldiers.

  The American Lieutenant——(Coolly)——We come to avenge the sinking of the Lusitania.

  The Hun Lieutenant——Hoch der Kaiser! Might is stronger than right!

  He treacherously tries to shoot the American but the Professor's Son disarms him with his bayonet. The three Hun soldiers offer a show of resistance.

  The Streetcleaner's Son——(To first Hun soldier)——Your hands are unclean with the murder of innocent women and children.

  First Hun Soldier——(Dropping his gun)——Kamerad!

  The Pawnbroker's Son——(To the other Hun soldiers)—— Prussianism has destroyed the Germany of Bach and Beethoven and you fellows know it, too.

  Second and third Hun Soldiers——(Dropping their guns)——Kamerad!

  The American Lieutenant——Men——you have kept the faith. I am proud of you. Forward!

  An explosion (not too loud to annoy the audience) is heard off stage right.

  The Professor's Son——(Sinking to the ground) Fellows, I'm afraid they've got me.

  The Streetcleaner's Son——What a shame!

  The Lieutenant——Is there anything we can do to ease the pain?

  The Professor's Son——(Weakening rapidly) No——go on, boys, carry the——banner of——civilization's ideals——forward——without me—— Tell mother I'm glad——I did——my bit——for the freedom—— of the world——fellows, the only——thing——I regret——is that I won't—— be able to be with you——when you——go back——to enjoy the gratitude—— of America——good-bye, fellows, may you drink——to the full—— the rewards of a grateful nation.

  He dies. The others regretfully leave him behind as they push on after the fleeing Huns.

  The stage is slowly darkened——the noise of battle dies away.

  Enter an Angel in the uniform of the Y.M.C.A. She goes up to the fallen hero and taking him in her arms tenderly carries him off the stage.

  CURTAIN

  TWO YEARS PASS

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